The Work of becoming

If everyone belongs inherently, and worth is not earned, why change?

Life is movement. It's impossible to never change. Trees grow, rocks erode, and stars burn out. And like them, even in the most steadfast of stillness you could possibly manage, you change. So what really matters is not so much if you change, but how.

I've noticed that change seems to happen in a series of steps. A cycle of life, death, decay, and rebirth. Not always neatly or cleanly, life and nature aren't that simple, but as a rhythm that reveals itself throughout our lives.

Life is the usual state of day-to-day activities, patterns, habits, and relationships. It's also the state we tend to think of most and find comfort in.

Then comes "death," which is less of a literal death usually, and more of a turning point. It can be gradual or sudden. You may not even notice it at all, but at some point life as it was progressing hits a point where it can no longer continue exactly as it was. What dies isn't necessarily a person or even a part of them. Sometimes it's a certainty. Sometimes it's a routine. Sometimes it's a relationship with who we thought we were.

This brings us to decay, which may be the most important step. Life and death may be passive states, but decay is work. This is the stage where life as it once was must break down and rearrange into something new, and that takes effort. I think people avoid talking about this step because it's almost always uncomfortable. Practice, new habits, grief, learning... these things are hard, but they make this whole process possible.

And finally we reach new life. Back to the day-to-day, with new patterns, habits, activities and relationships to take comfort in. Eventually what once required effort becomes ordinary again. New habits become familiar. New relationships become home. What was once uncomfortable becomes simply life.

One important note is that not all changes, all "rebirths" are positive. Sometimes a person tries to create new habits and falls deeper into old ones instead. Sometimes the changes are dramatic, but they don't make you feel like you've improved or succeeded in anything. That's okay.

Change, rebirth, isn't a one-time event. It's an endless pattern.

So again, why change? Because through change we discover ourselves. Through change we find continuity. What's left behind when the dirt settles becomes fertilizer for something new. Life, like stories, can't move forward in stillness. And the great news is that, to some degree, you can steer those changes. Not to become more "worthy" but to become more deeply yourself.